I heard Keith Richards' confession on the radio news broadcast.  He had, in the past, used a syringe from a toy store nurse/doctor kit to shoot heroin.  I would guess they were on tour and he obviously would not travel carrying his own "fit". 

When I was using, it was called a fit - the needle and the syringe.  Or it was called "works".  "Hey, buddy, I'll turn you on to a pinch if you'll let me use your works.  OK?"  If you had one, you were guaranteed to have access to drugs.  There was no other way to put heroin into your body so it felt that freaking good. 

Usually, someone could get some needles and syringes from someone who worked in a hospital or doctor's office.  They were usually used by diabetics, who received prescriptions from the doctor for them.   A couple of times I went in to a pharmacy, telling the pharmacist that I was visiting the area while someone broke into my motel room and stole my 'supplies'.  They would show compassion, usually, and I would write a made up name and address for their records.  Now, mind you that this was back in the '70s and I'm sure things are much tighter these days.  AIDS didn't enter the scene until the '80s. 

I hate to hear these celebrity 'war stories' because I think they glamourize using drugs.  Kids want to be like their music icons.  Keith didn't mention the parts about having to use some stranger's 'horse needle' (bigger size than usual and dull) if you needed to fix right now and didn't have your own fit.   

Keith didn't mention the parts, although I am sure he's suffered through many of them, about finding your friend floating in the pool, OD'd.  Or having to slap your friend to help keep them  breathing.  Or having to walk back and forth along the train tracks in the middle of the night for a couple of hours holding up your friend to keep them moving to keep them alive.  Sometimes people fill a bathtub with cold water (with ice cubes) and put the overdosed person in there to get them alert and breathing.  Opiates cause the respiratory system to come to a stop.  Then the lips turn blue.  It's awful to see.

There are many other low-lights in the life of a heroin addict like trying to get the needle into a vein when yours are all shot from over-use.  Under the tongue works.  It's inevitable that an addict will be forced to fall back on aggression to get money or drugs.  Pulling a knife or gun on someone and demanding their money or drugs is a dangerous idea but it works if they don't stab or shoot you first, if they're fast.  Then, of course, there's always prostitution.  When your creativity and reputation have been used up, that's the main fall-back method. 

I'm not sure if there's a way for music celebs to entertain the world with their war stories of addiction without 'inspiring' some young person to use.  The young person is so impressionable.  "The Beatles were, so why shouldn't I have?"  Some of the stories are actually pretty funny and entertaining.  The stories of how many hours you waited in your car for the guy with your money to come back with your dope before you realized you were ripped off.  Hopeful, sick addicts are very patient.  Or there was the time you stuck an ounce of fairly pure heroin into a condom and inserted it into your vagina (girls, duh) to cross the border.  Woe to you if you were stopped and searched or if the condom broke.  You could also stick the heroin into little balloons wrapped really good and swallow them.  Once you cross the border you take some ipecac syrup to make yourself throw them up.  Yuck.  If they didn't all come out, you would end up searching the other exit method until it showed up.  Very gross.  But these are the things addicts deal with all the time to get the drug.  These are nothing compared to going without for 3 to 5 days (in the case of heroin) while you kick. 

So I hope this has un-glamourized drugs a bit.  Just want to give an honest, factual account of all of it, not just the cute toy store version.

Stay well and stay off drugs. 
 

A man was arrested on suspicion of dealing narcotics, after they found methamphetamine hidden in a child's sippy cup. Detectives served a search warrant at the home of 29-year-old Israel Lara Gutierrez on the 4400 block of El Charro Lane. They found cocaine and meth in different locations throughout the home which were all accessible to Gutierrez's children.

 

A baggy of suspected methamphetamine was found inside a sippy cup on the floor. Investigators seized more than nine grams of cocaine and 16 grams of methamphetamine, more than $1,100 cash, scales and other items associated with the sales of narcotics.  Other items were found in a diaper bag inside of a crib in a bedroom.


The suspect's three children were left to the care of their mother at the home. Gutierrez was booked into county jail on charges of possession of cocaine for sales, possession of methamphetamine for sales and felony child endangerment. His bail is set at $100,000.


This seems so pathetically low...  Use your children and things meant for them to  stash your illegal drugs. 

I'm going through a lot of stress these days, with the way the world is going. I should probably put myself on a news blackout for a while. I get migraine headaches and bite my nails.

I think to myself that I could easily get some good relief from a hit of junk, but I wouldn't know where to start. It's been about 30 years since I bought any or had a fit (hypodermic set up). The consequences are way too severe anyway.

But honestly, from the few times I've had to go to the ER at the hospital for migraines where they gave me morphine, I really didn't enjoy it as much as I might have years ago. I guess I've grown and matured way beyond the insecurities and fears and hurts that haunted me in my teens and 20s. I hated the way I slept all day. But the worst thing was the way my mind wasn't sharp. I like my 'smartness' and my little exploratory thought-tangents. I don't like feeling 'not in control'.

One of the things I was concerned about before I started getting high was not being in control and acting like an idiot if I tried alcohol or drugs. I guess the pressure and curiosity was stronger than my wanting to look and feel 'normal'. It's strange that I gave up on that to such a huge extent for so many years.

I really, really love my life and this world and how 'interesting' other people are. I wish I could take back those 10 or 12 years that I squandered. And all that money!!! I have never even bothered to try to estimate how freaking much I spent on heroin. Why figure out another way to beat up on myself?

On the positive side, though, I learned a whole lot during those years. I saw some scary, forbidden places and I got an experiential degree in human behavior and addiction. I learned to be extremely resourceful and to read people and hunches very, very well. But it's so nice that I lived through it and can talk about it now, sort of. I don't think I'll ever stop having a certain degree of sensitivity about it. I'm surprised at what a private person I actually am (and was, why didn't I know it?).